Why are we adopting?

I know everyone has a story of how they came to the point of adoption. I have never really shared how the Lord worked to get us here. How he "opened our eyes".

Well, here it is....

This whole journey started for us the Summer of 2009. We were pregnant with our third child and after already being blessed with two boys I had been diligently praying for a baby girl.

Let me back up and fill you in on something big that was going on in
my families life at this time. Our sister and brother-in-law, Joel and Mea, had already traveled to Russia and were now just waiting to return to pick up their son whom they would call Weston. The anticipation of his homecoming was growing daily and we were so excited to meet him and welcome him into our family.

The day came for us to find out what our baby was going to be. So on May 22nd as I lay there in the ultrasound room surrounded by family we were told we were having another boy. I was shocked and disappointed as I began to cry. I didn't understand why God couldn't of just given me a girl. Guilt flooded over me as I was so emotional that I could not control my tears. So many people long for one baby and here I had been blessed once again with another healthy baby. As I left the room I met Dr. Bethel, my ob/gyn, in the hall. I tearfully shared our news with her and her immediate response was "well, you'll just have to adopt you a girl". The statement kinda caught me off guard but I didn't think much about it.

The drive home was pretty quiet as I thought about the fact that God knew the deep desire in my heart for a girl, a desire which I believed was put there by him, and had chosen to not give her to me. In that I knew that his thoughts and ways are bigger than ours and that I could trust his perfect plan for giving us another boy and I clung to that to heal my saddened heart.

Later that month I attended a baby shower honoring Mea which was given by her friend Tiffany. Tiffany had three biological sons and the year before had adopted a beautiful little girl from Russia. I couldn't help but think to myself that this could someday be our family. Also, Mea's friend Christine was proudly showing off pictures of her two month old daughter Halina who she would be traveling to pick up in a couple of months from Ethiopia(they also used AGCI). From that day on adoption was never far from my mind.

Mea and Joel traveled to Russia to pick up Weston in the middle of June. We all gathered at the airport to welcome them home and to meet Weston for the first time. It was amazing to see this one year old little boy who not only days before lived in an orphanage with thirty-three other infants. God had specifically picked him to be a part of this family and the funny thing was he didn't even realize his life had been forever changed.

Over the next month I had several conversations with Mea about their journey to Weston and the thoughts I had been having about adopting. I talked to Dillon, my husband, about what he thought about adoption and if he would ever consider it. He told me he had never really thought about it, and we left it at that.

On July 20th, Mea sent me a you tube video of a family who had recently adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. She attached a note saying "if you are not thinking Ethiopia, then watch this". We had been talking the day before about her friend Christine and I said if I ever did adopt it would not be from Ethiopia. It's like God said "oh really, let me show you my plan for your life".

As I watched the video and read the overwhelming facts about the children of Ethiopia and saw the sweet face of Lucy Lane tears streamed down my face. The verse at the end pierced my heart and I knew then that God not only wanted me to adopt but He wanted it to be from Ethiopia. The verse read: "...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act...Proverbs 24:12.

After praying heavily for a few days over this life changing calling God had placed on my heart I decided it was time to talk to Dillon. I poured out my heart to him and asked him to pray about it. He was very shocked and scared and I'm sure quite overwhelmed by all that I had shared with him but he promised me he would pray about it. We also began to pray about it together and really dug into God's word to see what he would say.

Dillon never got to excited about it or entertained the idea much because he never wanted me to think we were going to do it unless he was totally for sure it was God's will for our family. This ironically brought some anxiety for me. I definitely wanted God to speak directly to Dillon and it never to be something I talked him into but at the same time it was very hard to wait for His answer. I began to doubt and to wonder if this was not God's plan and it was me trying to fulfill my own desires.

God unexpectedly reassured my heart one day in Target and it came from the sweet face of Halina. Carl and Christine had just returned home the evening before from Ethiopia. Christine was making a quick stop into the store and I know God arranged our meeting that day. In that moment of seeing Halina and Christine sharing about their trip it was like God whispered "This WILL be you, and I WILL take care of it". I went out to the car and just cried and thanked God for being so good and faithful.

Time went by and our oldest son Conner started Pre-K and we were getting excited about baby Deacons arrival. I thought about the adoption everyday and wondered how long it would be until God gave Dillon our answer.

On September 6th, a Sunday morning, Dil woke me and excitedly hurried me into the living room and said he wanted to show me something. We sat on the couch together and he placed his commentary in my hands as he held his Bible in his. He said that the night before he had been studying his Sunday school lesson which was in Mark. He said he read on a little further and came to Mark 9:33-37. He began to read these verses to me and when he came to verse 36 and it mentions Jesus taking a child in his arms my eyes began to fill with tears and I knew God had given Dil our answer and it was YES, adoption was his plan for our family. Dil said he felt God speaking to him through these verses and he asked God to confirm whether it was Him or not. He opened his commentary and it said that the Bible only mentions Jesus taking the little child in his arms in the book of Mark. Right specifically where he was reading. At that point he knew that God had confirmed what He had laid on my heart to his heart through the Word. I said "so what you are saying is we are going to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia" and he said "Yes". We hugged and of course I cried. What a moment, a moment that would change our lives forever.

A few days after our BIG decision!!