It's Me Again.

Well, it has been 4 months since my last post. To be honest, I have been having a hard time breaking back into the blog world. So much has happened here and there is so much to say. I am still wrapping my mind around how I want to share it all.

So, for now, I am going to leave you with a simple...

a pic of my little loves...

and a promise I am clinging to...

Gift for our girl!

Where we live it is not always that easy to find brown dolls. So I could not pass this one up when I saw it!


We found it at a very random place. We were with Jeremy, Angie, and our nieces and Jerm needed to stop by the local farm and country store to buy some work boots.

The kids went straight to check out the baby chickens, geese, and ducks that they have for sale. So cute!! Unfortunately, there were tears shed because we could not take one home. :(

They hit the small toy aisle after that and that is where we found the doll.


The best thing about it was the price. Are you ready for this?!?! $3.97!!!

So for now, the doll sets in a basket, waiting to be held and loved by our little girl!!

March Numbers!!

On the girls list we are number...

And our siblings number is...

Exciting to know we are ACTUALLY really close to seeing the 30's and teens!!

I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart;
I will tell of all Your marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in You;
I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.
Psalm 9:1&2

Choosing to Celebrate!!

We have been looking forward to this milestone for a while!!

We started this journey at #90 and now we are (unofficially)...



That means we have made it halfway through the waitlist!!!

I am choosing to celebrate where the Lord has brought us TODAY!!! What He has already done through us and for us in this journey and what He is yet to do!!!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

6 months!!

That is how long we have been on the waitlist. A half a year...can't believe it!!

With all the talk going on about the changes that may or may not be happening to the Ethiopia program, I am still confidently hoping for the 9-12 month quoted wait time for a referral.

That would mean we are half way there...that is something to be excited about!!

How has the last 6 months been?

There has definitely been some highs and lows. As many of you know, there are alot of emotions that pop up during an adoption process. We have loved celebrating along with each family as they have accepted their referrals. There is such excitement around here in getting to flip over an Africa. We love talking about our little one, praying for her, and dreaming about her becoming part of our family. There has also been several days that have been just plain hard. I think January was the worst for me. The lack of referrals had really gotten me down and was really weighing on me. The feeling of not moving towards our daughter at all was upsetting.

It was then that I could feel the Lord telling me to take a break from it all. Take my mind off of all the circumstances of my life and put it on Him.

Created for Care could not have come at a better time for me. It was just what I needed. I left there feeling encouraged and challenged.

I don't even remember which speaker at the retreat said it but it really stuck out to me. She was talking about the rectangles in our life(tv, phone, computer, books, etc.). How we don't need to be overtaken with them. I knew that this was one of the main areas in my life that the Lord was working in already.

I felt like the computer was becoming a major idol in my life. The list serv, F*cebook, and the blog world were taking up way too much of my time and I was feeling a need to check these things way more than I needed to.

So, as hard as it was and as much as I didn't really want to do it, I set my computer aside and only checked my email once a day. I really talked to the Lord about my life and what things he wanted me to change. What priorities I had out of whack and how he wanted me to fix it.

Here I am a month later.

I don't know what I really expected to happen during this last month but here are the things that did happen...

*I spent way more time with the Lord than I have in a long time and let me tell ya, the time was sweet. I really tried to focus on just being in his presence and learning more about who he is. Just being with him. Being still. I filled our house with praise music everyday and it was so great after the first week or so to hear Conner singing the new songs along with me.

*I kept my laundry done all month!! (People, this may be normal to you but for me this was the biggest accomplishment EVER!!!)

*I spent more time with my boys. I was not just available to them. We played more, talked more, and laughed more. I loved ever second of it!

*My husband commented that I had been so great to him and overly nice. Isn't that what ever wife wants to hear?!?!

All these things were because I had taken the focus off of MYSELF and MY circumstances and put it on CHRIST. What victory we have in the Lord!!

I really felt a renewing in my heart. A peace. A fresh love for the Lord.

I guess Satan didn't like that too much because he started stirring up a few areas in my life. He was trying to get my mind back on the circumstances of my life. On things that I have no control over.

I was reading last nite in Linda Dillow's book Calm My Anxious Heart(I encourage every woman to read this book..it is excellent). She says...

When difficult circumstances come into my life, I hear God's voice saying, "Let me be the Blessed Controller. Surrender. Accept my timing. Accept my ways. Accept my outcome. Let your trust be in Me alone."

It was like God was speaking straight to me through those pages. I have a choice. I can worry over things I have no control over or I can trust in him and him alone. I can pick up my cross daily and follow him or I can try to do things on my own(and fail miserably).

Seems like a no brainer to me. But it can be so hard.

As I ease back into the computer, I can already feel the pull. I don't want to be sucked right back into where I was. I will have to strive to purposely make a choice to say no to it all. To keep my priorities where God wants them.

It all boils down to choices. Daily. Choices.

Created for Care

All I can say is...WOW!!! What an amazing weekend!!

It was so great to finally meet all my "friends" in real life.

I was absolutely thrilled to no end to finally get to see Hilary and Alison!! Alison is one of the first ones I ever emailed and she was so great to answer any questions I had while working on all the paperwork. We ended up being 3 spots apart on the waitlist. Me and Hil also connected thru email and I have had an instant connection with her from the beginning. I know she is praying for me thru my journey and there is no better friend than that. Us three girls are bound and determined to travel together to pick up our little ones from Ethiopia. I SO pray that happens!!


I wanted to get a pic with Kristi and Lucy Lane to put in our little ones baby book. The Lord used them in such a big way to show us His plan for our family to adopt.


I got to room with the most incredible women. I haven't laughed that much in a long time and each one blessed my heart in a different way. Courtney, Mitzi, Lara, and Hilary...you gals ROCK!! Miss you already!!



It was so encouraging to hear each ladies story. So many different phases of the process were represented. From still working on paperwork, to having a HUGE number on the waitlist, being number one on the waitlist, traveling to Ethiopia that night, to having their child home. There is so much you can learn from each other.






The speakers were all great and I left there feeling very encouraged and with my heart stirred in some different areas. I also left there very exhausted since we stayed up late talking at night! Such fun! Can't wait until next year!

Okay, with all that said, over the last couple of weeks I have been feeling like I need to step away from my computer for a while. So, I am taking the MONTH off. No F*cebook, blogging, or listserv. I honestly am not looking forward to it but really feel like it is what the Lord wants me to do. I just need to prioritize some things and kinda refocus. Get my mind off the wait and back on to what it is really about.

Can't wait to catch up in a month...my next post will be our March numbers!! :)

5 months waiting + February numbers!!

It was great to get our number update on the day that we have been waiting 5 months. It was even better to be surprised by the numbers. We were one less than I thought for the girls list!!

So, for a girl, we are number....



And, for siblings...



That is 2 spots on the girls list and 0 spots for siblings.


Baby Girl,

I just want you to know how much we already love you. Conner says that he wishes we could flip over ALL those Africa's in one day and come and get you. As hard as it is to wait, there is also peace in the wait because we know it is all perfectly in His timing to lead us straight to you. We pray for you everyday. It is sometimes hard to know what to pray for because of the uncertainty of your circumstances. But still, we pray on. We love you sister!!

Mommy

Wordless Wednesdsay....Snow!!

A Brother's Love.

Tuck: Is this enough Mom?
Me: Enough for what?
Tuck: Enough to bring sister home.

Melt. My. Heart.

Where is our dossier?

That is one of the things I have been wondering lately. I worked so hard on that thing. Turned it in. Got our numbers. Then never heard about it again.

Yesterday our caseworker called for our monthly update. It was so good to talk to her. So I asked her where it was now and she said it is in a lock box at...

Hannah's Hope!!!

For some reason that just made me giddy. Excited that something of ours is actually in Ethiopia at Hannah's Hope. Just in case you might not know, that is our agency's transition home where our baby girl will be.

One of these days when we finally get our referral, they will take our daughter's info and our dossier and combine it as one.

For now, all it does is set there and wait. Day in and day out. Just like me. :)

If I had gotten my way!!

I decided it was time to pull out a tub and pack away all Deacon's baby toys. As I was doing it I was overcome with a very sad feeling. Packing away all those things meant that Deacon is not a little baby anymore and that made this momma sad.

In that same moment I found joy in the fact that I would one day soon climb up to the attic and bring down this tub one more time!!

Then this thought went thru my mind..."not if you had gotten your way".

My way would of consisted of 3 kids. 2 boys and 1 girl. Just what I had always wanted. Hmmmm...or so I thought! I am so glad that God had different plans for us!

First off, I cannot imagine my life without my precious Deacon in it. He has filled me with so much joy and my heart with so much love. I am so glad that I have 3 sons and that I get to see each of their faces everyday.

I also can't imagine all the other things I would have missed if "I had gotten my way".

God used that whole situation to open my eyes to His love for the orphan and the role He wanted us to play in that. After seeing the Lord work in so many ways thru not only our family but many others, my faith has grown and my relationship with the Lord has deepened. I do not think my heart will ever be the same.

That is not the only relationship that has grown. This process has brought me and Dillon closer together. We were so sure that God was leading us to adopt but were not certain what everyone would think about it. We decided that it didn't matter and that together we would step out in obedience. There is just something about watching your man follow the Lord...gets me every time!! :)

I would have also missed out on my daughter, the gift God has for us. Even though I have never seen her face or touched her, I know she is something I don't want to miss.

While typing this I began to think about all the times that I have told the boys "I am not telling you no to be mean, I am telling you no because that is the best thing for you". Alot of the times they just don't understand my reasons behind things. I think I can be this same way when it comes to my relationship with God. I think it would work good one way and then when God chooses something different sometimes I don't understand. But I need to trust that there is always purpose behind his decisions and they are definitely for our greater good.

So, even though I can be a lil' spoiled at times and be upset if I don't get my way, I am eternally grateful to our Lord that this time I didn't.

4 Months Down!

Yep. 4 months since we got on the waitlist. Part of me feels like it has been a long 4 months and the other part of me wonders where in the world has the time gone. I am super pumped that we are now in the 50's. We are a 1/3 of the way there number wise. That makes me happy! :)

Baby Girl,
We just put your brothers to bed for the night. It is the sweetest thing to hear them pray for you. They usually say "Jesus, please be with our sister and help her". You are going to have the three best big brothers a girl could ask for. They love you so much already and can't wait until you are home.
Mommy

January numbers!!

I was surprised with our numbers this month. They were both 2 less than what I was expecting. We were excited to flip over some Africa's. Love that!!

For a girl we are...


For siblings...


That is 6 spots on the girls list and 5 spots for siblings!!! Yay!!!

Looking forward to lots of movement soon!! :)

Guess what is 1 month from today?

The Created for Care Women's Retreat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited, I can hardly stand it. As you could probably tell by all the exclamation points. :)

This momma can not wait to spend a whole weekend devoted to the thing that stirs my heart the most...adoption. It is going to be such a blessing to finally "meet" so many of you in person. And I am absolutely ecstatic about my roomies that God has placed me with. Girls, we are gonna have a blast!!

It has been kinda slow on the adoption home front lately and I know this is just what my heart needs as I "wait".

I am so thankful that the Lord laid this on Andrea's heart all those months ago and that she was willing to be obedient even tho she had so much going on with her own family. She is one amazing gal as I'm sure you all agree!!

Counting down the days until we are together in Georgia!!

Hello 2011, you can only get better from here!!

Unfortunately I don't have any fun pictures of us ringing in the New Year. If I did, they would be of me curled up in the fetal position or hugging the toilet. Blah!

That's right. 2011 welcomed me and my little Deacon with the always dreaded stomach virus. It hit me around 11:15 last night and the rest is history.

Dil quarantined me to our bedroom and that is where I have remained all day. I don't know the last time I have just laid in bed all day. I have to admit, it has kinda been nice. The older two are at my parents and Dil has taken care of Deacon and Gilbert all day. Let me just say, my husband rocks!!

So my day has pretty much consisted of watching movies, sipping on Sprite, napping on and off, and LOTS of thinking.

I've been thinking about 2010 and all that went on this past year. The three things that I will always remember are Conner's salvation, the birth of my niece, and the start of our adoption process. It has been a great year...so much to be thankful for.

I've also been thinking about 2011 and all that will go on this year. It is full of BIG things for our family. Dillon will turn 30, we will celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary, Tucker will start pre-k(tear), and we will see our daughter's face for the first time.

It is going to be an amazing, life changing year!! I can't wait!!

I just realized that it has been exactly 6 months today since we sent in our application and I started this blog. My main reason for the blog is so that we will never forget this journey to our daughter. I plan on having it made into a book for her. In doing that, I never imagined what a blessing this blog would be to me. The relationships I have formed and all the encouragement is amazing. Walking thru this process with you all makes it so much easier. I love celebrating with you, crying with you, and cheering you on. Thanks to all who have followed our journey so far. Can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us all this year!!