6 months!!

That is how long we have been on the waitlist. A half a year...can't believe it!!

With all the talk going on about the changes that may or may not be happening to the Ethiopia program, I am still confidently hoping for the 9-12 month quoted wait time for a referral.

That would mean we are half way there...that is something to be excited about!!

How has the last 6 months been?

There has definitely been some highs and lows. As many of you know, there are alot of emotions that pop up during an adoption process. We have loved celebrating along with each family as they have accepted their referrals. There is such excitement around here in getting to flip over an Africa. We love talking about our little one, praying for her, and dreaming about her becoming part of our family. There has also been several days that have been just plain hard. I think January was the worst for me. The lack of referrals had really gotten me down and was really weighing on me. The feeling of not moving towards our daughter at all was upsetting.

It was then that I could feel the Lord telling me to take a break from it all. Take my mind off of all the circumstances of my life and put it on Him.

Created for Care could not have come at a better time for me. It was just what I needed. I left there feeling encouraged and challenged.

I don't even remember which speaker at the retreat said it but it really stuck out to me. She was talking about the rectangles in our life(tv, phone, computer, books, etc.). How we don't need to be overtaken with them. I knew that this was one of the main areas in my life that the Lord was working in already.

I felt like the computer was becoming a major idol in my life. The list serv, F*cebook, and the blog world were taking up way too much of my time and I was feeling a need to check these things way more than I needed to.

So, as hard as it was and as much as I didn't really want to do it, I set my computer aside and only checked my email once a day. I really talked to the Lord about my life and what things he wanted me to change. What priorities I had out of whack and how he wanted me to fix it.

Here I am a month later.

I don't know what I really expected to happen during this last month but here are the things that did happen...

*I spent way more time with the Lord than I have in a long time and let me tell ya, the time was sweet. I really tried to focus on just being in his presence and learning more about who he is. Just being with him. Being still. I filled our house with praise music everyday and it was so great after the first week or so to hear Conner singing the new songs along with me.

*I kept my laundry done all month!! (People, this may be normal to you but for me this was the biggest accomplishment EVER!!!)

*I spent more time with my boys. I was not just available to them. We played more, talked more, and laughed more. I loved ever second of it!

*My husband commented that I had been so great to him and overly nice. Isn't that what ever wife wants to hear?!?!

All these things were because I had taken the focus off of MYSELF and MY circumstances and put it on CHRIST. What victory we have in the Lord!!

I really felt a renewing in my heart. A peace. A fresh love for the Lord.

I guess Satan didn't like that too much because he started stirring up a few areas in my life. He was trying to get my mind back on the circumstances of my life. On things that I have no control over.

I was reading last nite in Linda Dillow's book Calm My Anxious Heart(I encourage every woman to read this book..it is excellent). She says...

When difficult circumstances come into my life, I hear God's voice saying, "Let me be the Blessed Controller. Surrender. Accept my timing. Accept my ways. Accept my outcome. Let your trust be in Me alone."

It was like God was speaking straight to me through those pages. I have a choice. I can worry over things I have no control over or I can trust in him and him alone. I can pick up my cross daily and follow him or I can try to do things on my own(and fail miserably).

Seems like a no brainer to me. But it can be so hard.

As I ease back into the computer, I can already feel the pull. I don't want to be sucked right back into where I was. I will have to strive to purposely make a choice to say no to it all. To keep my priorities where God wants them.

It all boils down to choices. Daily. Choices.