and only 11-17 more to go!!! Wow, thinking of how long this is going to take really wears me out sometimes.
I have to confess, I tend to be a little DrAmAtIc at times. Sometimes on the harder days of all this I will look over at Dil and say "do you think at the end of all this we are really going to get our baby?". I think I am really just needing him to reassure me to keep hanging on.
Someone told me the other day that I might go thru all of this waiting and not even be able to adopt in the end. WOW!! Major blow to the gut!! Talk about taking the wind from my sails!!
The truth is she is right. Nothing is guaranteed. Anything could happen.
The question is, am I willing to take the risk? You bet I am!!
I know that we serve a BIG GOD and that for some reason if this all ends in heartache instead of a baby then that is for my own good. This was part of my reading this morning..."You and I must boldly ask the Lord to let us see Him, even if the light of His presence is best seen against the veil of darkness". This hit me hard. I don't want to endure suffering or loss. Who does? But, if it brings me closer to my Savior and shows me more about Him is it worth it? You bet it is!!
On the other hand, if we wait this thing out and it is God's will for us to have this baby, I can only imagine the blessing we will receive. A beautiful gift, straight from God, that is hand picked just for us. Every detail aligned by the creator of the world to take us to one specific day in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The day we will hold our daughter in our arms and be overcome by God's love for us all. Only God can do something so amazing!! It will be nothing less than a miracle!!
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36
To my sweet girl,
I think about you constantly little one and long for the day you are home with us. I imagine you playing with your brothers and cuddled up in your daddy's arms. I think about rocking you to sleep and singing Jesus Loves Me as you drift off. I can't wait to dress you up and put BIG bows in your curly hair. Oh the hair, that is going to be a challenge.
You are our treasure and we will do whatever it takes to bring you home. It is amazing that we have never seen your face and yet our love for you runs so deep. You are changing us for the better and we need you just as much as you need us. We cannot wait for the day that God brings us together. He made you for us and us for you. He loves you so much and I know he has amazing things in store for you. I can't wait to teach you about him and the wonderful thing he did for you on the cross.
All my love,
Mommy
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So beautiful Kelly!!! It is a really hard truth to wrap your mind around. Now that we're getting so close I'm starting to get comfortable with the idea that this is really gonna happen...but then the devil sneaks right in there and discourages me again. What if I get pregnant? What if Ethiopia closes its doors? Ugh...I could drive myself CRAZY with all the "what ifs?" Thankful the Lord has got it all under control and HE will never gives us more than we can handle. So thankful to be going through this with friends (even if we've never met). Its so nice having someone who's experienced all these things to share our ups and downs with. So thankful to call you a friend!
ReplyDeleteOH! And I FINALLY became a follower....thought I already was, but now its official! =)
I feel the same way constantly. Thank goodness we know we are living in His will though, and NOTHING is better than that!
ReplyDeleteClinging to that verse as well, it's plastered all over my desk and house!
Such a precious letter to your baby girl! And love your thoughts on all God is showing you! Can't wait til that day that we are all blogging about life at home with our new babies!! :)
ReplyDeleteWell said friend!
ReplyDeletegreat reminders...and such a sweet letter to your baby girl!
ReplyDeleteMeg
Reading through blogs is a wonderful reminder that we are not in this alone. There are so many of us waiting. Waiting for that first picture, first smell and touch--I love that the Lord has brought so many blogging friends to share this with! The love you already have for your daughter is inspiring!! Thank you for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteSweet, sweet....
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! I knew that was hard for you to hear the other night. I'm proud of you for letting God teach you and shape you through this long and often tiresome process. I LOVE the letter to lulu. Absolutely the sweetest!
ReplyDelete